Remember when I was supposed to be in El Salvador right now? Well, I’m not. I’m in good ol’ CNY. And because of that, I feel like a travel failure.
My beautiful friend Maggie (who popped her travel cherry in Nicaragua with me) has teeth and a jaw that were long ago taken over by a demon. She actually looks forward to the day she can have all of her teeth removed and get dentures instead. ‘Nuff said. A few weeks ago, she was in so much pain that she needed an emergency root canal.

Because Maggie had an infection, the Nicaraguan dentist wasn’t able to finish it. The rest would have to be completed in the States. Though Maggie could’ve physically traveled to Honduras with me, she didn’t want to spend the money. Root canals ain’t cheap, especially for someone who’s starting grad school in the fall.
(Note: I couldn’t be prouder of her. She’s going to be a kick-ass social worker. Did I mention she got into every school she applied to?)
I’m a firm believer in the ability of each individual to control their own happiness and their own destiny. This means that I also believe in the power of choices and priorities. Every day is a new day to change your own life, but only if you choose to do so.
Happy people are generally ones that understand themselves, know what’s important to them, and have made choices based on those priorities.

For Maggie, not being in debt and having a healthy tooth were her priorities. So she decided to change her ticket and go home early. Though we were both disappointed that we weren’t going to travel more together, we were thankful for the wonderful months we’d had in Nicaragua, and we both knew it was the right decision.
What I didn’t expect is that my priorities would shift along with hers. I realized that 98% of the reason I was going to these countries was to be with Maggie. I didn’t have a strong drive to visit either one. Once I saw Maggie book her ticket back to the US, I felt an unexpected twinge of jealousy.
I missed my family and friends.
I’d been abroad for over three months, and though I’d LOVED my time in Nicaragua, I realized that I kind of wanted to go home, too. The way it had been scheduled, I was only going to have 4 days each in LA, San Diego, and New York to see most of the important people in my life.
But I felt like a loser. Was I really going to skip out on a trip to see two wonderful countries (one of them that I’d never been to before), just to go home?

What would all the “cool kid” backpackers at a hostel say?
I mean, it’s like totes rad to extend your ticket, bro, but for a travel blogger to head home EARLY? What a failure! I can just picture those hairy barefoot mofos chuckling to themselves over their kambucha as I write this.
By changing my ticket, I’d be choosing Helluva Good french onion dip, PJs, and reality TV on my parents’ couch over scuba diving in the Bay Islands.
WHO AM I?
Some of you are probably shaking your head at me right now, in disbelief that I passed up such an incredible experience.
But I have the feeling that some of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Whatever it is you want, you just have to go for it. Some of my favorite words to live by are: “Do what makes you happy.”
Whether it’s staying in the same place your whole life, or never settling down, it doesn’t matter. Know yourself, know what you want — and LISTEN to yourself.
I didn’t want to go backpacking through Honduras and El Salvador. Though I’ve traveled by myself before, Maggie’s not coming on this trip had kind of taken the wind out of my sails.
I spent an entire morning poring over my guide book (normally one of my favorite activities) and didn’t find myself excited about anything. And, as anyone who knows me can attest, I get excited about EVERYTHING. (Especially this video of a baby pig going down the stairs.)

Though it was a sure sign that I should just head home (and use the money saved for a trip I was really stoked about), I kept stalling. I mean, I’m a TRAVEL blogger. I’m never supposed to pass up on traveling, right?
Luckily, I have friends who know me better than I know myself.
As I sat, panicked, unsure of what to do, I told them that I should at least go for “just a few days.” Because I’d feel like SUCH a loser if I went straight home.
You know what they said?
“What, do you think I’m going to send out a mass message to the travel blogging community or something?”
“Is there some Travel Junkette award that you’re going to lose out on?”
Hilarious, guys. But their questions did make me realize; who the hell am I trying to impress? I do things for me and for the ones I love. Not for anyone else.
Every traveler has had times they want to go home, and that’s okay. You’re not alone.

Maggie finally stuck it to me when she said:
“Quit being an idiot. (I’m sure she used a nicer word than this, but this is what she should’ve said.) That goes against pretty much everything you stand for. You don’t ever listen to what other people want or expect of you; you just do what makes you happy.”
And so I did. As you read this, I’m either: cuddled up on my couch in horrible sweatpants watching TV, avoiding talking with my mom about grandkids, arguing about politics with my dad, or catching up on work on a gloriously fast internet connection.
Would I rather be on a beach in some exotic Central American country? Not a chance in hell.
I’d love to hear your opinions on this. Do you think I’m a travel failure? Have you ever had a similar experience?
I don’t blame you one bit. I think people don’t realize that as exciting it is to travel, sometimes we just get mentally exhausted, whether you realize it or not. It’s not a bad idea to recharge and unwind in a familiar place. I find that if I’m in China too long, my brain gets exhausted because I’m on high alert all the time either trying to translate in my head, or trying to navigate cultural differences that manifest in everyday routines.
So enjoy yourself and then you can blog about your awesome adventures in the states!
Thanks, Sarah! I appreciate the support. I can imagine that China gets VERY overwhelming at times. Living in Korea was a pretty crazy experience for me. Alright, off to recharge a bit!
Suzi! Thank you for all of the wonderful things you wrote in this article. I feel less lame and way more responsible and awesome. You are amazing and thoughtful and really inspiring. I am sure your words will resonate with a lot of your readers! Miss you already…can’t wait for our next adventure!
Awww, te quiero, Maggie! Thanks for the nice comment. Hope you’re having a fantastic road trip, and see you in ALASKA!!!
Love this! Even though I’m completely free to do whatever I please, I still impose silly expectations on myself too. Weird! I walked out of a cool movie at a film festival today because I was starving to the point of uncomfortable. The old me would have sat there hating life! Same same but different 🙂
Thanks, Sarah! I feel like that’s so true — as you get older, you stop doing things that you don’t want to do. It’s such a beautiful and freeing feeling!
Gah! Left a comment on how I loved this post and then my Internet cut out. Too tired to re-think it… but the short version is that you’re right on! Following your gut is what makes the adventure.
Thanks, Lexi! I appreciate your comment and couldn’t agree more. Following your gut is the way to go!
So true, Susan: Know thyself… and listen! I felt the same way when I came home after my whirlwind roadtrip and time in Thailand. I felt like a failure for coming home, but it was what I needed at the time.
<3 <3
Perfect, Therese! If anybody knows this stuff, it’s you. Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!
I like pretty much any and all posts that deal with following your intuition and going where your heart leads you.
As a traveler (and particularly someone who blogs about traveling) there’s this feeling that you should always be on the go because your readers come to expect that. It can feel like a let down to go back home or take a break from traveling. But you should definitely do what you want with your life !!! <3
Love this.
Aww, thanks for your comment, Tatiana! It really made me feel good about my decision. I’m so glad that you feel the same way. Thanks again!
Thank you so much for this post. I am going home 2 months into a 4 month solo trip because I missed home my family and boyfriend. I couldn’t settle or get excited about my trip. I’ve battled with weeks with feeling like a filure till I realise I had to do what made ME happy and my heart longed to go home….so that’s where its going. Thank you for the honest post!
Thank YOU, Clare! Your comment on this post made my day. It’s sometimes hard to write things so personal… but it’s SO worth it if it helps people like you feel better about their travel decisions! Enjoy home — and always do what makes you happy!
Susan, thanks for sharing your experience. It is a wonderful reminder to be true to yourself, even if that means resetting your own expectations. Ultimately this is your life, and you get to listen to your heart from day to day and act accordingly!
Thanks for posting,
Lisa
Awww, love it, Lisa! So true!
So glad I read this!! I travelled to oz by myself a couple of years ago after plans with my then bf to travel together fell through… I was determined to prove to myself that I could still go it alone. I ended up flying home after 3 months! I regretted it for ages and still do to an extent, but at the time I really just wanted my family around me, I was tired of making so many plans alone, I found it hard to mingle with people (I’m naturally very shy!) and I’m really not much of a drinker! That being said, I did go on some great trips and got talking to people here and there, but this post has helped me to make peace with my decision to come home early. I gave it a go and that’s better than backing out altogether when things got tough with the ex!
Aww, Kirsty, you did the right thing! Don’t let regret take over: sometimes you just need to go home. Glad you now know that even travel lovers like me feel that way. Hopefully you’ll be able to take another (perhaps shorter?) trip sometime soon! xo
Thank you. I am currently a first-year college student 10 hours away from home. I am from a large city, with high temperatures year round. Where I am now, is a small town, up in the Rocky Mountains, where in the heart of winter, the high can be -40 degrees and early fall feel, like my winters at home. I have always been very close to my family, and am strong in my faith (I went to a private Christian school all my life). I am ten hours away from home, am not finding anything to connect me to my faith, and the cold terrifies me. I also wake up each morning with my heart racing, knowing I am somewhere I feel like I don’t belong.
What you have written is how I have been feeling for the past few months, and while my friends at my current school have been very supportive of me leaving, my family at home has not.
I am a huge planner and have started making plans on leaving me current school and transferring to a school 10 minutes from home, where I can live in the dorms and be nice and close to my family, while still having my college experience. This option is also a lot cheaper, where I could maybe not be in debt when I finish school. This school offers a major in Youth Ministry, something I want to do.
My end goal is to be a novelist, but I want to study business as a “day job,” but another dream is to work with teens in the Christian high schools as a Campus Minister.
I’ve felt like a failure by wanting to go home, but at the same time, I feel so much joy, when thinking about going home.
So thank you for writing this, no matter how long ago. I see so many pros and cons to staying here, but I also see so many more pros and cons to going home. I’ve experienced being away from home, and I just feel like it isn’t the right choice. It is not a matter of not being able to make it a full year, it is that I don’t want to do it. I want to go home. I see so many good things coming from it. Thank you.
I agree so much! This was me last year in Europe! I was told how great solo travelling would be from every person I met (and looking back now I realised most people who said that actually hadn’t solo travelled themselves longer than a few days) and I got there and I hated it. I felt so lonely and uncomfortable. I stuck it out for a bit and then joined a tour for 2 weeks where I met girls to continuing travelling with for another few weeks and then after a week solo travelling again I was just ready to come home. I loved my time I spent with my friends and on the tour and there were some good moments spent by myself but I was so exhausted and tired of always having to watch my stuff and myself and where I was going so much more so than with someone else and I just missed having company. I realised that it would be so much more beneficial to spend my money on a trip I would enjoy than just sticking it out and essentially wasting money because I didn’t want to have ‘failed’. Your words really hit home!!!!
I am currently taking part in a 2 week law internship in Sri Lanka! Whilst I love the country, the accommodation has not been for me, experiencing anxiety! Me and my friend were meant to travel to Maldives and Dubai after but after an off feeling between us both we have booked flights home, I have mixed feelings but as I have not been feeling myself here I feel like it should be the best and think about returning to Maldives and Dubai with someone else when there is excitement! This article has helped me a lot in realising thats okay and things don’t turn out how you expected them to